


what hurts the most

by SnorkleShit



Series: librarians ficlets and drabbles [8]
Category: The Librarians (TV 2014)
Genre: Abuse, Alcohol Abuse, Angst, Drabble, M/M, jazekiel - Freeform, prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-04
Updated: 2016-09-04
Packaged: 2018-08-13 00:38:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7955305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SnorkleShit/pseuds/SnorkleShit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I can’t do this anymore.” + “I never thought you’d hurt me but I was wrong. You hurt me the most.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	what hurts the most

Jake opened the door to his apartment with a yawn. He’d had a long day, and was looking forward to spending some down time with his boyfriend. 

His boyfriend who he found sitting in the dark, on the couch in the living room. He had a suitcase standing next to him, and his head was bent over. Jake immediately sensed something was wrong. He reached to flick the light on, and Ezekiel didn’t react to his presence. 

Jake felt his blood run cold as he laid eyes on his boyfriend. He was littered with bruises, that the downcast fringe of his hair did nothing to hide. 

“Who hurt you?” Jake demanded, suddenly furious. He’d kill whoever laid their hands on his boyfriend. 

“You did.” Ezekiel said, flatly. Jake blinked, taken aback. 

“What?” Jake asked, confused. “No I-”

“Don’t you dare try and say you didn’t!” Ezekiel barked, in a sudden flurry of emotion as he stood, turning to face Jake completely. His eyes were full of anger and tears. Jake stared at him in horror, taking in how battered he was. No. He would never raise a hand to his friends, let alone the man he loved -

“You get drunk. Every night. Sometimes during the day. And then you forget in the morning! Well, I for one am sick of trying to cater to the world you pretend to live in.” Ezekiel snarled with dignity, but his hands were shaking. 

Jake felt like the world was falling down around him. No...he couldn’t have...he could be just like his father. Had he really been drinking that much…?

“I … I -” Jake said, mouth opening and closing with no destination.

“Save it. I’m tired of hearing what you have to say. I know what you really think of me.” Ezekiel’s lip started to tremble, and he clenched his shaking hands into fists. “I can't do this anymore.” 

Jake’s eyes flicked to the suitcase. No. This couldn't be happening. This couldn't be real. Had he really hurt Ezekiel? Was he really an abusive monster just like his father? He was losing everything, how could this have happened? 

His face went pale. “Ezekiel, please-” He started to breath in desperation. 

“ _Please?_ I'm the one who said please, when I begged you to stop drinking, to stop hurting me! I loved you, and - “ Ezekiel’s voice broke, as did Jake’s heart.

“I never thought you would hurt me, but you hurt me the most. So you don't get to say _please!_ ” Ezekiel exclaimed, voice torn with emotion. Jake started to shake his head in horror. This couldn't be real. 

Ezekiel grabbed his suitcase and pushed past Jake, walking angrily towards the door. Tears slipped from Jake’s eyes as he turned to watch him go, heart ripping itself to shreds. But he restrained himself from doing anything, saying anything. He was a monster, he had no right to ask Ezekiel to forgive him, Ezekiel _should_ leave him.It was the right thing to do.

Ezekiel was a hero and Jake was just another obstacle for the man to overcome. He hadn't ever meant for it to turn out like this, God, what had he done? 

Ezekiel didn't slam the door behind him, and if anything, that was worse. Jake stared after him for what felt like an eternity, soul withering as his worst nightmare settled in as reality. He had hurt Ezekiel. Abused him. He was a drunk and a bastard just like his father, and he had ended up just as ignorant! Just as blind. He should have seen this coming. 

He couldn't go back to work, they deserved better than him, he didn't deserve the Library. He deserved to die, to die, die, die, die…

Jake woke up from his nightmare not with a gasp, or a cry. But with a sob. He sucked in breaths as he sat up, trying to get air into his burning lungs. 

He was alone in his bed, in the dark. He put his head in his hands. He and Ezekiel weren’t dating. And it seemed his subconscious was using dreams to remind him _why_ he hadn’t asked Ezekiel out yet.


End file.
